Reading for Friends and Family
Reading tarot for friends and family can be nerve-wracking, but sticking to a few simple tips can help ease your worries.
Reading tarot for friends and family can be a bit tricky because of shared history, relationship dynamics, and strong emotions. But even with these challenges, if you're honest, sincere, and sensitive, you can create a pleasant and positive experience for everyone.
Often, friends and family are the first people a new tarot reader practices with, and that's totally normal since they're the easiest to access. When you start showing interest in tarot, you'll usually find that your loved ones are eager to join in. Reading for familiar faces can be really rewarding and, if done with care and good judgment, can bring everyone closer together.
Choice of Deck
When getting ready to read tarot for friends and family, it's important to pick the right deck. To avoid feeling nervous or self-conscious, go with a deck you're already comfortable with and know well.
Think about how your friend or family member might react to the deck:
Are they comfortable with Tarot in general?
Will cards with unconventional names or unusual illustrations make them uneasy?
Could certain styles of artwork put them off?
You can use any deck for a reading, but decks with bright or gentle illustrations often work better for friendly readings than spooky, dark ones. Some good examples of gentle decks are the Golden Art Nouveau Tarot, the Harmonious Tarot, and the Pre-Raphaelite Tarot.
Choice of Spread
When reading for friends and family for the first time, it's smart to start with a short, simple spread. A three-card Past, Present, and Future spread is often the best choice because it's easy to understand and flexible enough to explore issues in more detail if needed.
As you get more experienced and your friend or family member gets more comfortable, you can try more complex spreads. The Universal Vision Spread is great for group readings since everyone can help interpret the cards.
It's crucial for you, as the reader, to feel centred, comfortable, and confident. If you're uncomfortable, it's okay to say something like, "I'd love to read for you, but I'm not yet ready to read for the people I feel closest to."
Avoiding awkward subjects is also wise. Reading about romantic options for a stranger is one thing, but doing so for your own mother is another. Be honest. If you're hesitant, suggest a different topic or politely withdraw.
Tune into the comfort level of the person you're reading for. If they seem defensive or embarrassed, ask, "Would you prefer to discuss this topic with someone else?" or "Why don't we try asking another question?"
When reading in private, the conversation can flow more freely, potentially touching on personal topics. However, in public settings like family reunions or parties, avoid lengthy, emotional readings. With lots of people around, the Querent might feel upset or vulnerable, and exposed.
General Guidelines
To ensure successful readings for your family and friends, keep these points in mind:
Deliver honesty with tact and respect.
Explain upfront that your obligation is to read whatever message the cards present.
Be open and frank without being rude or causing offence.
It's often helpful to phrase difficult insights as questions. For instance, instead of saying, "You're tired of your boyfriend!" try, "Would you like to talk about your relationship with your boyfriend?" This way, you're inviting a discussion rather than making an accusation or a blunt statement that could cause offense.
Check Your Energy
If you sense that your Querent is becoming uncomfortable, steer the conversation towards lighter topics or explore other cards in the spread. If you start feeling uneasy yourself, it's perfectly fine to say, "I'm sorry, I'm unable to focus today. Let's try again later."
When reading for family and friends, you already know a lot about their lives, so try not to let this interfere with your reading. Listen carefully to what your Querent says and pay close attention to the cards and their message. Otherwise, you might end up giving advice based on your own biases and ideas about how they should live their life.
Reading successfully for friends and family requires frankness, integrity, and sensitivity. Keep this in mind, and your readings can be enjoyable and enlightening for everyone involved.
Party Readings
At parties, keep readings light and brief. Stick to one- or three-card spreads and light-hearted questions. Even if the message is tough, a skilled reader can deliver it with wit and wisdom while maintaining the integrity of the process.
The Universal Vision Spread is also great for gatherings. It lets the group explore their personalities in a fun, relaxed way and involves everyone in using their own intuition to contribute to the reading.
When choosing a setting for a reading, consider who else will be around. If you're reading for a family, there might be children present, so be mindful not to bring up unsuitable topics. If needed, find a more private spot for the reading.
Find a Tarot Buddy
Teaming up with a friend or relative can really enhance your Tarot practice. You'll get mutual encouragement, exchange ideas, and practice new spreads together, taking turns as Reader and Querent. Playing the role of Querent yourself will also give you a deeper insight into the power of the cards.
